Five Years of Fatherhood....

"A child arrived just the other day..."  (If you are just tuning in start with this post)

Ok this won't be some weepy post on how I haven't been there for Tommy, or even Matty. Because I have, maybe not always well but I have been there.

I just can't believe Tommy turned five as we closed the page on July...Five years just seem to have gone by so fast.

I have seen so much from him in five years, I have learned so much: from how to advocate in a gently non-threatening way to meet his needs, to let go and trust the hands and experience of others, he has taught me so much.

He continues to bring everyone who meets him joy. He is such a happy darn kid all the time. I wish I could bottle and sale his positivity and happy nature.

I think most of what I have learned in these five years is that Tommy is who he is not because of anything Traci or I did. Seems like it should have been an easy thing to learn, right. It was surprisingly difficult. I still have a lot of times when I watch Matt do something and I start thinking how awesome and smart he is. Then I start feeling guilty because I am enjoying him doing something that his big brother can't.

I suppose that's probably normal some sort of survivor's guilt or something. It's been awesome since we moved to Minnesota though because the doctors at Gillette seem totally invested in finding ways to help Tommy achieve things.

Since we moved/started seeing docs at Gillette Tommy has really turned into a rolling machine he can roll onto his tummy, seemingly any time he wants. He is such a ball of energy and it seems like we might finally be starting to break his tone enough to allow him to do some things.

Seriously though its been five years. Seems like it was just yesterday. I still remember telling the helicopter crew there was no way I wouldn't be on that helicopter with him, weight be damned. I suspect a part of me was so terrified he might die or something I couldn't handle me or Traci not being with him.

I love you, Tommy...Here's to many, many more years of marveling at where the time has gone.